Saturday, February 28, 2015

10 Minutes of Minecraft

Scene--our house, Saturday morning.  A 10-minute transcript of my 7-year-old's monologue and dialogue with me and his sister.

Bryce:  I need some carpet.  Let me try this villager’s house. 
Me:  You’re stealing carpet from the villagers?
Bryce:  It’s okay.  The villagers don’t really mind.  Also, they can’t fight back.

Bryce:  Villagers are pretty much pointless in pocket.

Bryce:  I’m going to build a house soon so I’m gathering a lot of materials from the village.

Bryce:  I caught the librarian!  I saved him from the cactuses.  I had to put him in a pen so he couldn’t roam far.  I’m going to build my house around it.  I’m going to keep the librarian as a pet and get rid of all the cactuses. 

Bryce to his just-awake sister:  Hayden, guess what?  In my desert house I have a pet librarian.  It’s literally my pet.
Hayden:  That’s good…I guess…

Bryce:  I’m going to ask some villagers if I can have a staircase.  Hey, blacksmith, do you have a staircase?  Great!  I’m going to borrow it.
Me:  So when you say borrow it, you mean steal, right?
Bryce:  Well, yeah.

Bryce:  I’m giving the villager a window with iron bars, for his pen.
Me:  So basically it’s a jail?
Bryce:  Sort of.

Me:  How is the house coming?
Bryce:  Pretty good.  It’s made out of planks, mostly, and 3 blocks of sandstone.
Me:  How’s the librarian?
Bryce:  It’s good.  I gave it some bookshelves.

Bryce:  There.  There’s a roof for you, librarian.
Me:  What’s the roof made of?
Bryce:  Sandstone.  The librarian’s gonna like his new home, probably.  I do have some pumpkins, however.

Bryce:  Hayden, guess what?  The blacksmith’s house burned down again, but it’s okay because I got his ittems.
Hayden, annoyed:  Bryce, it’s I-tems.  I-tems.  Not ittems.  Why do you always say ittems?!
Bryce, completely unfazed:  Oh.  I’m going to take this chest from the blacksmith’s house.  I’m going to make it into a *secret* chest.

Bryce:  Darn it, the secret chest doesn't work.

Bryce:  There's a scrawny little blacksmith just strolling around.  No wait, it's a farmer.
Me:  Are you going to keep *him* as a pet?
Bryce:  Nah.  He has to be closer to my house for me to capture him.

And on it goes...and goes...and goes...and I love it. :)